On Channel 10 Tonight: Windows 2000

The news this past week was filled with stories about the switchover from analog to digital TV signal. When the switchover was first announced, I posited it was a conspiracy by flat screen manufacturers to force consumers to give up their beloved console television sets. Since then I've gotten extra basic cable (local channels, plus C-SPAN, WGN and in case you are really having trouble sleeping, C-SPAN II.) Tonight at I clapped on* the console for the first time since the switchover. I flipped through the channels looking for The Simpsons. I'm guessing the digital switchover wasn't painless for the Farmington/Rosemount area branch of the cable company. Channel 10 is currently broadcasting the Windows 2000 Professional screen saver with an audio soundtrack of contemporary Christian rock. The soundtrack seems out of place to me. After spending a few years saddled with a work laptop running Windows 2000, I'm certain quite a few people have taken Christ's name in vain while using that OS. There's nothing heavenly about Windows 2000.

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* I use a Clapper to turn the TV on and off since it lacks a remote.

The Flat-Panel Console TV

I finally found the solution to my love of console television sets and my husband's love of flat-panel televisions. Wilkerson Furniture offers a flat-panel TV encased in a wonderful, console-like shell. Can you imagine anything cooler?

Clap On, Clap Off

I thoroughly enjoy my Clapper. Of all the "As Seen on TV" type products I've purchased, the Clapper has given me the best bang for my buck. I hooked up my console TV to a Clapper in the living room since it lacks a remote. Sometimes when people are talking loudly in the living room the TV "claps on", but it is very convenient when I'm chopping tomatoes and my hands are covered with tomato goo. I don't need to touch the knob on my pristine console TV. Instead, I just clap my gooey hands and the picture springs to life. I rarely change channels since I enjoy watching Fox 9. It's the channel that receives the best reception in Farmington and it shows Seinfeld re-runs nightly. Plus my favorite anchor of all time, Jeff Passolt from the KQRS morning show, hosts the Fox 9 news. When Passolt introduced my lunch bandit story, I could have died happily, my life's dreams realized. I felt like a Farmington-style celebrity.
Right now I'm in the server room, and there's a giant digital TV in here that doubles as a computer monitor. I walked into the room, sat down at the server bench, and reflexively tried to clap on the TV. Unfortunately, there's no Clapper in the server room. I hunted around for the remote, which was buried under some bill receipts, found it, and then realized I also have to find the stereo remote for the surround sound. That's too much work for TV. I decided to just blog instead.

A Few of my Favorite Things

My New Year's resolution is to go through my house and pick out some nice things to give to charity. I've started thinking about what I might be able to give to Goodwill, and as I was wandering around the house, I realized how lucky I am to have so much nice stuff. So many people have given me things they didn't need anymore, and I'm really grateful to them. A lot of my favorite things were something someone else no longer needed. I hope the items I give to Goodwill are great shopping finds for others.

Martha Stewart always writes about her favorite things in her "Is Martha Stewart Living" magazine. I find a bit of hubris in this practice, but I'm going to go ahead and adopt it just for the sake of this blog entry. So here are a few of my favorite things . . .

• Ricoh Copier
  A local church gave it to me because they received a nice new copier and this one was broken. The door on the side of the copier was missing a magnet to hold it shut, and for some reason, this caused a paper jam every time a user attempted to make a copy. I fixed the door. Now I'm using the copier for various volunteer activities and making copies of my newspaper column for my grandma.
  
  
• Zenith Console TV
  I found it by the side of the road, with a free sign and the original instruction booklet taped to it. I painted it black to match my pleather couch. I like watching the channel 9 news with Jeff Passolt on my awesome TV.
  
  
• Toshiba Laptop
  My friend gave it to me in exchange for helping her fix a newer computer that was broken. I use the laptop (also known as the Pillowtop) for writing my column for the Farmington Independent.
  
  
• Palm Pilot IIIc
  Another nice gift from someone who thought my paper planner that I bought on clearance on K-Mart was pitiful. One of my co-workers saw my Palm Pilot and decided it was such an unusual antique that he took a digital picture of it for his website.
  
  
• Really Big Monitor
  I won a really big monitor when my employer raffled off their old equipment to employees. Since I like the Pillowtop better than the desktop, I passed the really big monitor along to the nice couple who bought my desktop computer. They were great. They even took the old computer desk off of my hands. Now I use an ergonomically adjustable tray table for the laptop. The tray table was featured in my column today in the Farmington Independent.
  
  
• Honeywell Thermostat
  This electronic thermostat is the Cadillac of thermostats. I won it from Dakota Electric when I entered a contest at the Dakota County Fair.
  
  
• Pocket PC
  I won it from Microsoft at a Microsoft Project seminar. Since I already had my paper planner from K-Mart, I sold the Pocket PC to my dad. He uses it to play Bejeweled and read e-books while my mom is shopping at the fabric store.
  
  
• Beige Sectional Couch
  A wonderful gift from a pal who couldn't fit the huge sectional couch and an upright piano in her living room at the same time. The piano won out and the couch came to live with me for a couple of years. Eventually I found a black pleather couch at the Goodwill with two matching chairs for $75. I passed the sectional along to a really nice lawyer who works for almost nothing representing battered women in her county. County employees rule!
  
  
• '86 Dodge Omni
  This was actually not quite free. I paid $50 for my Omni. It was a great car. I fixed the leaking roof and painted it black, with white pinstriping and scroll work. Wow, was it beautiful. My grandma was really impressed with my paint job. A really nice computer scientist sold me this car. What a lesson in frugality! Here is a guy who has a great job, and he buys a car brand-new for cash, then drives it for 200,000 miles and still gets $50 for it.
  
  
• Weber Grill
  I found it next to the neighbor's trash when I was out for a walk. I wheeled it home several blocks. I like the Weber's round shape. It grills veggie burgers evenly.
  
  
• 1983 Sears "Portable" Television
  I found this electronic artifact on the curb during last spring's Farmington Clean-Up Day. This little TV scrubbed up nicely and gives my kitchen retro touch.
  

A Console Computer

Check out this awesome console computer! A guy from the UK created this custom computer. What I love so much about my console TV is that not only can I watch Jeff Passolt on the Channel 9 news on it, it also looks like a piece of furniture.
This one-of-a-kind computer follows the same concept. Not only does it run Windows XP, it looks like an attractive piece of furniture. The guy who created the computer decided to gut a small console television and load it with a fast motherboard. He says he embarked on this project just because his laptop was slow and his intenet connection was "a bit dodgy". What an incredible project! http://www.mini-itx.com/projects/itxtv/

How to Restore a 1983 Sears Model TV

I spent a Friday night this May picking up curbside treasures and unloading the van. After an early dinner with friends that Saturday, I spent the evening cleaning my new Sears TV. Okay, so while all the cool people were out partying and avoiding getting shot while bar-hopping in Downtown Minneapolis, I was busy collecting and cleaning my junk treasures.

Here's how I restored the TV:

• First I wiped it with a 3M static-attracting dust cloth to pick up any loose dust.
  
• Then I scrubbed it with a toothbrush soaked in "Awesome Orange" degreaser.
  
• I sterilized it by wiping it down with an anti-bacterial cleaner.
  
• The final step was conditioning the plastic case by rubbing it with a soft cloth sprayed with "TurtleWax 2000" plastic and vinyl protector.

All of this work payed off. My old TV looks like new, and it has a fresh, citrus scent. I proudly set it on the kitchen counter, nestled next to my toaster oven. On Sunday, Joey walked into the house and he said it looks like Grandma's house, between the Sears black and white model and the console TV. I couldn't imagine a better compliment.

One Farmington Resident's Junk is Another's Treasure

Well, my trusty pals, Perro the pooch and Joey, rode around my neighborhood with me Friday night, looking for good finds. Joey suggested bringing his car to cruise the neighborhood. You can tell this is his first experience with curbside clean-up day. Hauling home the amount of stuff I usually pick up requires the use of my 3/4 ton van. Mainly this is why I own the van. I use it to pick up large items I find along the side of the road with free signs on them, and I drop off my old items at the Goodwill. I also sleep in the van when I'm camping. (As my co-workers have pointed out, in reference to a Chris Farley Saturday Night Live sketch, sometimes I sleep in a van down by the river.)
Unfortunately, the console TV I spotted on my morning drive was not functioning. I found its former owner in the driveway, washing his car, and asked him. Another guy actually came out of his house to tell me that the air hockey table on his driveway worked great and that he had the little paddles for it. Unfortunately, it was too large even for my monster van.

I ended up scoring the following items:

• Two color TV/VCR combos, One 19-inch, one 15 inch
• A Large Weber grill
• Two hose carts (I have a hose in the front yard and one in the back.)
• Small black-and-white TV
• Power washer

I've wanted a power washer for cleaning my deck for a few years now. Every time I see them in the Northern Tool ad I drool. So the washer is pretty exciting. One of the TV/VCR combos was broken, so I put it back out on the curb, and the other one works, but needs a new cord.

By far, my favorite treasure is the black-and-white TV. It's a Sears model, circa 1983, yet it appears to be about 10 years older than that. It has a super-cool retro silver and white case. I love the folding UHF antenna and the handy dial for changing stations. The TV/Radio combo unit I used to have in my kitchen has a sliding thing that tunes in stations like an old fashioned radio, not a cool dial. I won this goofy TV/Radio in 7th grade for writing an essay about why good nutrition is important. Take it from me, good nutrition makes you a winner!
Joey was wary and somewhat repulsed when I picked up the Sears TV from a pile of miscellaneous rubbish. It was covered with a sticky brown grime and cobwebs were tangled in its antenna. I could see the retro potential, however, and carefully loaded it into the van, under Perro's watchful eye.

Cleaning Up on Curbside Goodies

One Saturday a year, the Farmington city garbage department picks up items that won't fit in the garbage can. I've been waiting all winter for curbside clean-up day, and it has finally arrived. Tomorrow is the big day.

My phone rang at 7:30 this morning. I thought, is that someone from work calling? Are all the clocks in my house off and I'm really late? Nope. It was one of my pals calling to let me know people were already cruising around Farmington, checking out the curbside goodies and picking stuff up. Yes, Farmington residents pick up each other's old stuff from the curb. I'll admit to doing it myself. I almost got into an altercation a few years ago over a picnic table with a wobbly leg.

So, I finished up my breakfast of leftover artichoke spinach dip and garlic toast, and I hopped in the Echo. I spotted piles of items already at the curb - including a cool orange and yellow flowered couch, a bunch of shelves, and a plastic sandbox shaped like a turtle. (I used to have one of those as a kid! That was the best birthday gift ever.)

Then I saw it. A console TV! It was so cool that I was already envisioning it spray-painted black to match my furniture. It had a little shelf on top. I really wanted to pull over. But I would have been late to the park and ride, and missed my bus. Then somebody from work really would have been calling me. Also, I know from experience, that I can't lift a console TV by myself. I just hope it's still there when I get home. I have a pal coming over tonight to help me get my old junk out to the curb, so I can probably pick up the TV with a little help.

If anyone is cruising the curbs in Farmington tonight, there will be a few items in front of my house, including, but not limited to:

• A slightly malfunctioning HP laser printer

• Some half-used cans of maroon spray-paint (leftover from when I gave my '88 Dodge Grand Caravan a make-over)

• A computer monitor that I won in the work computer lottery last year (I've since acquired a flat screen monitor for free)

I can't wait to get home tonight and start cruising the curbs! Stay tuned for the down-low on the junk I find.

Goodwill Goes High-Tech

I just discovered that my favorite store is on-line. I'm so excited. I can't wait to search the virtual treasure trove of Goodwill items. (You know the saying - one Farmington Resident's trash is another Farmington Resident's treasure.) I've been looking at eBay here and there, but I have a hard time working myself up to actually bidding on things. I can't tell if I'll really win the item, and even if I do, how do I really know that the person will actually send it to me? I'm pretty sure that Goodwill won't cheat and not send me the item. Even if they didn't send it, or it wasn't quite what I wanted, who cares? All the money goes to a good cause, so I can view it as a donation.
I'm not sure if you've had to hear (or read, as it may be) my Goodwill spiel before. I try to reduce, reuse and recycle. I have a big green City of Farmington recycling bin that I fill up with empty garbanzo bean cans and bags of shredded credit card offers. But even recycling this stuff and making it into something new takes energy. I envision donating and shopping at Goodwill as taking recycling a step further. Since the stuff stays in its original form, it avoids the landfill, and it provides use for a longer period of time, my Goodwill shopping strategy saves even more energy than recycling.
That's it for my Goodwill spiel. Now it's time for me to do a little on-line shopping. Who knows what I might find? Maybe a portable printer for the Pillowtop laptop, or a spare antenna for the console TV.

A Threat to Console TVs Everywhere

Today I heard some bad news for my beloved console TV. A regulation is going into effect that television broadcasts will switch from analog to digital on February 17, 2009. Just a few days after Valentine's Day, I'll lose the big, woodgrain paneled TV I love, unless I buy a $40 converter box for it. I think it's a conspiracy from the cable and satellite company to force us to use their service. I've had both before, and I decided, why pay for the extra channels? I don't want to grow a big rear because I try to watch all of those extra shows every night. They distract me too much from snowshoeing and pet grooming, which are more important hobbies.
Anyway, there are a lot of good shows on regular TV, like Nature on channel 2. I watched a beautiful episode on Christmas Day about the migration paths of animals, such as geese, monarch butterflies and salmon. Grandma liked that episode a lot too. Then we watched the Yule log burning on channel 45 for a while, courtesy of the new UHF antenna I bought for $3.18 on the Radio Shack day-after-Thanksgiving sale.
I learned about this consumer injustice from a CNNMoney.com story. To add insult to the injury of learning my console set is becoming unusable, the article also paints users of analog TVs in an unfavorable light. It says that owners of analog TVs "are likely to be poor, elderly or uneducated." Hey, maybe I'm your typical analog TV set owner. I'm just covering my grey and hiding the AARP card in my wallet. I secretly have to eat Ramen noodles every night because I can't afford Spaghettios. I really never went to college, instead I made up those 7 years I spent working on my degrees.
The assumptions made by the article's author are classist and plain rude. What does education have to do with what gadgets I choose to spend my disposable income on? Why am I likely to be "uneducated" because my TV is from 1982? I bet tons of educated people have old TVs or none at all, because they're probably busy doing whatever they took classes to learn about, like reading, bird-watching or communicating in sign language. Also, anyone who has financial education knows that consumer technology is not as good of an investment as an IRA. If you can sock $700 into your IRA, instead of buying a new flat-screen TV with it, you'll wind up with a little extra income in retirement. Obviously the article's author believes that everybody fits into one category of elderly, poor, uneducated and generally disenfranchised people just because they don't share his materialistic values about spending money on new technology.

A Makeover Story Success!

You may remember I posted here about the makeover of my console TV. The long awaited moment is here. I finished re-painting and re-conditioning this wonderful piece of electronic furniture. I've never been happier with any TV. This is the first time in a few years I've had a TV with good reception, so I'm re-acquainting myself with network programming. There are so many murder mystery programs on TV right now. My grandma is a big fan of CSI, so right away I had to watch a few episodes. It's pretty cool and gory! In general, I'm not a very big TV watcher, but now I turn on the console while I'm cooking dinner or cleaning. I hate sitcoms, so if I turn it on and there is a wacky family arguing, I change the channel to PBS. There are no sitcoms there.

A Tome on Selecting a Proper VCR for Your Console TV

The Finished Result - A Makeover Story Success!

My nice living room, featuring the latest in console television technology:

A Makeover Story

After I moved to my new house, I realized I needed a new TV for the living room. (I banished the 10-year old Wal-Mart special to the family room in the basement.) I looked at a few TVs at Target, but the prices were pretty high, considering I also needed to buy a new TV stand.
Then my prayers were answered. A few weeks ago I discovered a console TV along the roadside with a free sign taped to it. It's a TV that's also a piece of furniture! I don't have to buy a new TV or a stand. Now I can use the money for an IKEA shopping spree instead. (I love their shrimp and egg salad sandwich! Yum!)
After hauling the new TV out of the van, I realized that it really didn't match my black pleather couch. Luckily, I had a few cans of spray paint left over from when I painted my flaming Festiva a few years ago. I decided it was time for a console TV makeover. So in this edition of a makeover story, we'll be seeing the "Before" pictures of the TV, and a some shots from the in-progress makeover.

Before the Makeover:



After removing the free sign and using Goo-Gone to scrape off the tape mark on the screen, I carefully unscrewed the brass handles on the front of the console. Unfortunately they were covered with a greenish corrosion, so I spray-painted them with a hammered metallic pewter finish, left over from painting the Festiva's hubcaps.

The Makeover In Progress:
Notice how I carefully masked off the screen. Please check back soon to see the "After" photos! The makeover story continues . . .