Dream Vacation

My dream vacation would involve iguana sightings, 24-hour pizza room service, and hanging out with a few of my favorite metal bands, like Atreyu and Shadows Fall.

I want to float away on the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise in January. 40 metal bands, a trip to Cozumel (part of the native habitat of the giant green iguana) and round-the-clock pizza. A dream come true!

http://www.70000tons.com/home.htm

Metallica Live in Las Vegas

For me a typical day in the paradise of Las Vegas consists of a leisurely poolside afternoon spent with a Stephen King novel, a delicious dinner at Little Ceasar's pizza and an evening moshing to Metallica. Last night as I stood amongst a sea of metal heads, fist pumping in unison with 12,000 other people wearing black t-shirts, I was filled with the strength of belonging to something larger than myself. Seniors, teens, kids and parents were shouting the same words to a 24-year old thrash metal song. When the lights dimmed for a moment and the first few chords of "Fade to Black" rang out, a reverent hush fell over the crowd. To be a part of this music, these songs which have accompanied so many moments and events, which have spanned a generation, was incredible.

Minnesota: Your Next Eco-Adventure Vacation

I came across a stunning Minnesota reference in David Brooks' "Bobos in Paradise":

. . . today's educated executives thrill and then eventually bore you with their high-altitude conquests. . . . In the midst of such soliloquies I used to wonder why these North Face Folks didn't just take their two-week winter vacation and go to Minnesota to join a road crew. If they wanted brutal conditions, a tough challenge, and team camaraderie, at least in Minnesota they could have filled in a few potholes and had something to show for their misery.

Mr. Brooks, I completely agree. Why climb a mountain when you can achieve frostbite here in Minnesota? I have a few grey bits of flesh on my toes to brag about. Although those are do to a completely pedestrian story about a broken car heater, when I embellish it a bit, it's nearly as captivating as any executive's story about their latest eco-adventure.

Brooks, David. 2000. Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. pp.210-211.

Mary's Vegas

This year's summer vacation ended up being a short trip to Vegas. I tried to plan a May vacation to the Florida seashore. I was compelled to nurse an an ill cat insetad. I tried to plan a July vacation to Charlottesville, Virginia. I was thwarted by a project which required overtime, specifically, an entire weekend night which spanned the period from 11:45 PM on a Saturday to around 7:20 AM on a Sunday. Delirious, the next day I booked a hotel in Vegas on Expedia.
Vegas is always a sure winner. They have cool double-decker buses and a monorail, plus all the hotels have pools. There's nothing I love more on vacation than swimming and exploring public transportation options. I don't gamble, except the penny slots and nickel poker. This year I came out exactly $2 ahead. As Kenny Rogers intones, you've got to know when to hold them. Or as my grandma says, never put it all back into the machine. Sage advice which netted me $2 - a one-way fare on the double-decker bus!
I was too busy touring the Hoover Dam, watching the baby dolphins at the Mirage and ogling millions of dollars worth of cars at the Imperial Palace to do much gambling. I loved the Dam tour. I even bought a Dam hat to prove it.
But one of my pals insists, despite all the wholesome activities enjoy in Vegas, there must be an ideal version of the Strip out there somewhere for me. Mary's Vegas strip features round-the-clock shopping at ALDI, an all-night Swedish buffet at the IKEA cafe and free withdrawals at a convenient City and County Federal Credit Union location. If you click the image to view in larger resolution, you may notice the Credit Union is offering great rates on savings and CDs. With the Credit Union, you're always a winner! Many thanks to Aaron Kaase for this incredible view of Mary's Vegas - Enjoy!

I Want to Believe

Tonight my husband and I shambled out of the Cina 5 in Watertown, South Dakota, after eyeballing the latest installment of the X-Files genre, “I Want to Believe”. I was a bit disappointed. I was hoping a few space aliens would show up. I figured the reason for the sequel would be one of the aliens lost his probe and they stopped by Earth to look for it. No such luck. The movie featured a couple of Frankenstein-style surgeries and lots of Catholic issues, like clergy involved in sexual abuse and doctors using stem cells to treat patients. Really, the plot didn’t make much sense. Especially since Scully and Mulder are still calling each other by their last names even though they live at the same house and sleep in the same bed.
After the movie and a bucket of diet soda, we shambled out of the Cina 5. As my hubby maneuvered the Mini through a perfectly dark, twisting road on the way back to the campground, a creature leapt out of the soybean field on the left side of the road. The black furry thing scuttled towards the relative haven of the weeds in the passenger-side ditch. An eerie reflective pair of green eyes shone in the Mini’s headlamps.
As we paused at a two-way stop on the gravel road, a light suddenly appeared in the eastern sky. Nope, it wasn’t the sun. The light was a hot, clear white, and slowly pulsating. There were no lights visible in any other direction. My husband joked it was a UFO. As we sped up, the light kept pace with us, matching our speed. The Black Sabbath song “Fairies Wear Boots” streamed out of the satellite radio, Ozzy intoning, “On my way home, late last night, suddenly I saw a fright.” Hubby floored the mini. The light weaved towards the ground, and then shot up, its speed accelerating. We rounded a hair-raising turn at 55 miles per hour. The light kept pace. Then a stand of pines in the distance blocked it from view for a few seconds. As suddenly as it appeared, it vanished.
Perhaps the aliens I hoped to see in the movie stopped by to pick up their probe. Or maybe the lights on the radio tower in Watertown played a trick on us. I’d rather imagine the aliens dropped in for a bit to visit South Dakota. South Dakota has many fabulous western wear shops and convenient casinos right in the gas stations. I can see why the aliens would visit. I guess I just want to believe.

Airline Meals are Yummy

As I write this I am aloft on Sun Country flight 702, patiently waiting for my cheese sandwich to be delivered by the friendly attendants. Cafeteria food is definitely my first culinary love, but airline meals are a close second. The crinkle of the little plastic pouches in which the sandwiches are served makes me salivate.
Northwest features snack boxes available for purchase on many of their flights. Imagine a whole box of tiny goodies like crackers and cheese food product pre-packaged for your delight. Once my snack box even contained two cheese food packets. One was "havarti" and the other "sharp cheddar", although they tasted remarkably alike.
I learned from the in-flight magazine that there is an entire website devoted high-flying cuisine, airlinemeals.net This particular plane does not feature WiFi access, so I haven't checked out airlinemeals.net just yet. As soon as I am ensconced in my den with my tiny laptop, a.k.a. the Convertible, you know which site I'll enjoy perusing first. Maybe I can work up an appetite for dinner.

Gnome Town

A couple of weeks ago, while on a camping expedition with my parents, we pulled into the town of Dawson to fill up the truck. Across the street from the gas station was Dawson's claim to fame, the Gnome Park. The park was filled with disturbing little statues, including the ones to the left. It looks like that male gnome who is standing up might be running an organic food co-op. That's the only explanation I can think of as to why he's holding an advertisement for wheat and beans. Strange! There is even a key to the gnome's names a the park - a hand-painted billboard that points out each gnome's location and given name. And I bet you thought the giant ball of twine in Darwin, MN was a weird tourist attraction. Not as weird as homemade gnomes.

Mary in the Zoo

I’m planning a trip to Washington D.C. this summer. I was thrilled to learn the National Zoo in D.C. has an extensive reptile and amphibian habitat. There are a few of Whippy’s buddies, green iguanas, chilling out at the national zoo. There are also a couple of rare Grand Cayman iguanas living there. I can’t wait to visit!
The panda exhibit at the National Zoo is also supposed to be awesome. This week Mei, the female panda, was artificially inseminated to mate her with Gao Gao, a male panda residing at the San Diego zoo. Talk about a long distance romance - all the way from San Diego to D.C. Last year I visited a baby panda at the San Diego zoo. It was incredible to see this tiny ball of fur that eats pounds of bamboo each day. The mother panda was chowing down. She spends 2-3 hours a day working on breakfast. I doubt my employer would approve of a 2 hour bamboo break.

Mary on the Hoof

I’m trying to plan my next vacation. I always like to have one in the works so I have something to which I can look forward. Several ideas are floating around my noggin. For about eight years I’ve had a fascination with sea turtles. They’re turtle-ly awesome! So I’m batting around the idea of an expedition to Akumal in Qunitana Roo, Mexico. Akumal is a Mayan word which means turtle spot. This spot has one of the highest number of turtle sightings in the world. Many people have even spotted green sea turtles while snorkelling, and the Ecological Center at Akumal needs volunteers to assist in collecting eggs during nesting season. The center collects the eggs and incubates them, insuring none are eaten by predators. When the baby turtles hatch, they are tagged and released to the ocean.
Another idea is Chi-town. Sure, I was in Chicago a couple of years ago to see the Science Museum, and I lucked out seeing Dio and Anthrax at the Hard Rock Café. But I never climbed the Sears tower or visited the acclaimed IKEA store in Schaumberg, that wonderful Chicago suburb.
Of course, Vegas is always a possibility. Even though I was there twice this year, it is my favorite destination ever. (Except maybe the Yogi Bear campground in Wisconsin Dells. I love seeing Yogi, and he is so nice. He has never tried to steal my picnic basket.) What do you guys think? Do you have a favorite destination, and if so, why? I’ll entertain all ideas. Where have you camped, holed up in a motel, or jetted off to that you loved?

We're Not In Kansas Anymore

I spent part of last weekend in the front row at the Kansas concert at Mille Lacs Grand Casino. The tickets were only $18. How could I resist? On the Kansas web site, the tour date is listed as "Mille Lacs Event Center". Perhaps they didn't want to let the world know they were starting off their 2007 World Tour at a casino in the boon docks. I spotted the guitarist, (the guy with the eye patch), eating dinner in the casino steakhouse. The steakhouse is surprisingly good. I might not be that great of a judge, though. I've never eaten the steak, just all of the other food that comes around it.
Kansas looked much better in person than in their publicity photo shown here. I was on the left side of the stage, and they walked up the stairs right in front of me. They played "Dust in the Wind" perfectly. David Ragsdale did a nice job playing the electric violin that gives the song its signature sound. Unlike the photo below, he was wearing a shirt during the concert. Probably because the casino buffet has that "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. The only disappointment was the lack of a lighter salute during the famous ballad. Even though we were in a casino, one of the few places you can still smoke indoors, only a few people had lighters. I expected to see a wave of lighters during "Dust in the Wind" like I did at the 2004 Metallica concert during "Nothing Else Matters". I stopped at the Milaca Unclaimed Freight Warehouse on the way up to the casino. I bought 1000 pairs of disposable plastic gloves (to clean up Whippy's little messes) but I forgot to grab a four pack of lighters for $1. Oh, well.
There was no opening act, so after the show I had plenty of time to hit the Grand Casino Arcade, the largest casino arcade in the state of Minnesota. (Yes, their signage actually advertises the arcade that way. How many casino arcades are competing to be the biggest in Minnesota? Maybe 4 or 5?) I won a big pair of fuzzy dice playing Skee-Ball. I picked the black ones and silver ones, of course, to match the van's new paint job.
The casino has a no dogs allowed policy, so I couldn't get a ticket to the concert for Perro. Once he sneaked into the Hinckley casino hotel in a backpack. But I told him he couldn't spend the whole concert in a backpack. Even though he missed barking along to "Carry On Wayward Son", Perro loved spending a weekend on the farm out at Castle Rock Kennels. He didn't even cry when Joey dropped him off at the farm.
This was one of the best concert weekends ever. I wanted to spend another night at the casino, just hanging around the pool and sipping the free coffee. But too soon it was time to drive the Echo back to Farmington. My only comfort is that my memories of the Kansas show will be with me forever. As their second biggest hit says, "Carry on, you will always remember".

Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son Lyrics

(Kerry Livgren)

(Chorus)

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man

I hear the voices when I'm dreamin',
I can hear them say

(Chorus)

Carry on my wayward son,
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Now don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely
means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but
I hear the voices say

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

(Chorus)

Mary the Filmmaker

I've been directing and producing my own videos lately.

I added some of my cinematic masterpieces to the photo website, so it now contains photos and videos. Please check them out and let me know what you think. You need to have Quicktime or Real Player installed to view them.

I recommend my documentary tour of the Sonoran Desert and the footage of my visit to IKEA Phoenix, a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Stay tuned for new releases. Coming soon are a trip to the Farmington Steakhouse and a tour of my newly remodeled den. Email me if you'd like a special sneak peek at the latest videos.

Live from Las Vegas

Note: I had to post this after I returned from my trip due to the lame cable modem in my hotel room. Who knew I'd need my LAN card? I'm so used to Wi-Fi!
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I'm writing live from the Luxor hotel on the Vegas strip. The hotel is not only shaped like an Egyptian pyramid, it is a bit larger than the Great Pyramid at Giza. Visitors are greeted by a Sphinx that is larger than the real one, and pass beneath it to enter the opulence of the hotel. The rooms are accessed through inclinators which travel sideways along the outside corners of the pyramid.
Already I've seen the replica of the Tomb of Tutankhamen, created by an Egyptologist who leads a center for recreation of traditional methods of crafts and art in Egypt. The exhibit is correct to every detail. (Believe me, I had a fixation on Howard Carter's discovery of the tomb when I was in elementary school.) I enjoyed seeing the recreation of the conopic jars where the internal organs of the late king were stored after he was prepared for burial, and the replicas of his bed and favorite chair.
I spent several hours at the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton. Words do not do it justice. I mingled with a Ferengi, a Vulcan and a Klingon at Quark's bar. The Klingon stole my Klingon Blood Draft beer and challenged me to fight him for it. He conceded and gave it back only since I was unarmed.
The first night I was here Fear Factory was playing next door to our hotel at the House of Blues. Talk about cruel irony. I've been up since 4:30 AM, and I don't have the stamina for five hours in a death metal mosh pit. (There were several opening bands, including Decapitated.) I took solace in the fact that I've moshed to Fear Factory before. I watched the groups of headbangers filing into the House of Blues from the chi-chi wine bar overlooking the House of Blues. I got a chance to see the L.V.P.D. in action, as Las Vegas police kept an eye on the crowd and scanned the occasional troublemaker with a metal detector. That was pretty exciting just in itself. I've seen the L.V.P.D. on COPS so many times, watching them handle terrible situations with calm and compassion, that I have a real respect for the work that they do.
This has been a wonderful vacation. I didn't drop a dime in the slots, but I bought a snazzy new watch and a totally unessecary pair of fur lined slip-ons, which is nearly as wasteful. I hope the slip-ons will keep me warm as I head back to frigid Minnesota, and remind me of the balmy nights in Vegas.