We're Not In Kansas Anymore

I spent part of last weekend in the front row at the Kansas concert at Mille Lacs Grand Casino. The tickets were only $18. How could I resist? On the Kansas web site, the tour date is listed as "Mille Lacs Event Center". Perhaps they didn't want to let the world know they were starting off their 2007 World Tour at a casino in the boon docks. I spotted the guitarist, (the guy with the eye patch), eating dinner in the casino steakhouse. The steakhouse is surprisingly good. I might not be that great of a judge, though. I've never eaten the steak, just all of the other food that comes around it.
Kansas looked much better in person than in their publicity photo shown here. I was on the left side of the stage, and they walked up the stairs right in front of me. They played "Dust in the Wind" perfectly. David Ragsdale did a nice job playing the electric violin that gives the song its signature sound. Unlike the photo below, he was wearing a shirt during the concert. Probably because the casino buffet has that "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. The only disappointment was the lack of a lighter salute during the famous ballad. Even though we were in a casino, one of the few places you can still smoke indoors, only a few people had lighters. I expected to see a wave of lighters during "Dust in the Wind" like I did at the 2004 Metallica concert during "Nothing Else Matters". I stopped at the Milaca Unclaimed Freight Warehouse on the way up to the casino. I bought 1000 pairs of disposable plastic gloves (to clean up Whippy's little messes) but I forgot to grab a four pack of lighters for $1. Oh, well.
There was no opening act, so after the show I had plenty of time to hit the Grand Casino Arcade, the largest casino arcade in the state of Minnesota. (Yes, their signage actually advertises the arcade that way. How many casino arcades are competing to be the biggest in Minnesota? Maybe 4 or 5?) I won a big pair of fuzzy dice playing Skee-Ball. I picked the black ones and silver ones, of course, to match the van's new paint job.
The casino has a no dogs allowed policy, so I couldn't get a ticket to the concert for Perro. Once he sneaked into the Hinckley casino hotel in a backpack. But I told him he couldn't spend the whole concert in a backpack. Even though he missed barking along to "Carry On Wayward Son", Perro loved spending a weekend on the farm out at Castle Rock Kennels. He didn't even cry when Joey dropped him off at the farm.
This was one of the best concert weekends ever. I wanted to spend another night at the casino, just hanging around the pool and sipping the free coffee. But too soon it was time to drive the Echo back to Farmington. My only comfort is that my memories of the Kansas show will be with me forever. As their second biggest hit says, "Carry on, you will always remember".

Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son Lyrics

(Kerry Livgren)

(Chorus)

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man

I hear the voices when I'm dreamin',
I can hear them say

(Chorus)

Carry on my wayward son,
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Now don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely
means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but
I hear the voices say

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

(Chorus)

Best Radio Station About Nothing

I'm an MPR devotee and a public radio member since age eight, but lately I can't listen to all of the politcal talk and war reports because I get too worked up. I have trouble concentrating on working or driving. Then I start babbling about Bush and Fallujah, and the other people around me get annoyed.
City Pages, always trying so hard to be ironic and hip, named 107.1 the best radio station about nothing for 2006. The station is all talk. It's like a talk vacation - a cruise away from politics and religion. Just like polite Minnesotans, they avoid all inflammatory discussions, so you can listen and not get so worked up about something that you can't use the computer at the same time. I guess no one at City Pages ever gets tired of political talk.
I discovered FM 107.1 at the State Fair this summer and I'm addicted to listening to this station on my Walkman while I work. During the day I'm out of range of Power 96, Faribault's best rock, so I listen to talk radio. I need it to keep writing code.
I like the Lori and Julia show in the afternoon. They're sisters-in-law from the east side of Duluth. They have the heavy Minnesota accents. We have to preserve this kind of radio! I love hearing other people say, "any-whoo" and "yah, yah, you know." Last week they interviewed Tom Wopat, you know, the guy that played Luke Duke on the Dukes of Hazzard. There's nothing better than that!

An Obituary for the CD

I've having a moderate bout of insomnia. This happens occasionally. I'm just glad this time it happened on a night when I don't have to get up for work in the morning.
So I recently got married, and before that, I did not have cable, broadband, satellite or any other high-speed link to the outside world. I just watched Jeff Passolt on the Channel 9 News at 9, and listened to Power 96, Faribault's home of rock. I used to have satellite, but I rarely watched it except for the channel Fuse, a Canadian music channel that features a heavy metal program called Uranium. Uranium rocks!
Well, my husband set up the digital TV we received as a very generous wedding gift, and then signed up for broadband. Now I have unprecedented access to the metal I love. There is a digital Metal music station that plays on the TV, and with the broadband, I can download all my favorite episodes of Uranium to watch on my iPoo. Right now I'm watching the metal station on TV, and they're playing Obituary. My very first CD was Obituary, "The End Complete". I bought it used at the Summer of Love store in Eagan, which was owned and staffed by a guy I'd suspect was an original hippy. He owned an obese cat that liked to perch on the CD bins and watch people entering the store. I didn't even know who Obituary was. I just liked the cover art by Andreas Marschall.
My Obituary CD is downstairs, carefully filed alphabetically amongst the 200+ CDs I've purchased since then. I'm on the fence about whether I should purchase CDs anymore. I can listen to MP3s in my Echo (I bought this fancy $88 stereo that is enclosed in the trunk a couple of years ago). Plus my new cell phone and the iPoo play MP3s. I think some of the DVD players around the house play them too (since merging households, there are around seven DVD players at my house. I gave one to Grandma. The others are just hanging out.)
The only drawback to moving away from CDs is that when I paid for and downloaded a digital format song from the Walmart site, I discovered it is not an MP3. Instead it is in some special format that only plays on the computer that you downloaded it to. The speakers on the Pillowtop are not that great for listening to music. This seems like a goofy system. If I go to the actual store, I can buy the CD and listen to it on any player. If I download the contents of the CD, I can only listen to them on the Pillowtop and the cost is almost as much as buying the physical CD. Doesn't this system just encourage music piracy? People can go out, buy the CD for eleven dollars, convert it to MP3 and post it on their website to illegally distribute it to the entire world. But I can't legally pay for the MP3. If you have some knowledge about the MP3 distribution system, please send me an email or post a comment here.

Country Music at the County Fair

Note: Mary is on temporary hiatus during September. This post was originally written on August 30, 2006.

A couple of weeks ago, I spent a Saturday wandering around the Dakota County fairgrounds, on the beautiful south side of Farmington. The county fair is an event akin to Christmas for me. I usually go two or three times. This Saturday was my first round of animal barns and mini-doughnuts.
I was munching a giant pickle on a stick when I spotted the Power 96 van parked in front of the John Deere display. Power 96 is the best radio station serving the Farmington, Northfield, and Faribault area. You know why I love this station so much? They never play ads for jewelry stores. After a couple hours of listening to 93X, I’ve heard endless reminders of where to shop for that special gift. There’s Arthur’s Jewelers, where you never ever pay mall prices, and Tom Shane, my friend in the diamond business on Radio Drive. Then there’s Dean and Yumi at Wedding Day, and Goodman’s, where you can buy a gift that goes straight through the heart. After hearing all of these ads several times a day for the past ten years, I never want to buy a special gift for anyone ever again. If you get a pair of earrings from me, I’m sorry. They are Cubic Zirconia, straight from the Dollar Store, where you never ever pay mall prices. If you really want a special gift, I hope it’s power tools.
Anyway, I was standing by the Power 96 van, wondering why they weren’t broadcasting live from the fair. They broadcast live from the Steele County fair in Owatonna. The Dakota County Fair is bigger, and it has more 4-H exhibits. As I stood there, I heard the strains of a country music song from the beer garden. The lyrics were faint. “I wear this crown of . . . a most peculiar thing . . . the needle tears a hole, that old familiar sting.” The lyrics were from the Nine Inch Nails song “Hurt”. The experience was so surreal, I thought I was having an auditory hallucination. Like maybe my desire to hear Nine Inch Nails instead of country music, and the lack of Power 96 rock, was combining to make me hallucinate.
So this week I was relieved to discover that there really is a country-music version of the song “Hurt” on one of Johnny Cash’s recent albums. I did not know Johnny Cash was a Nine Inch Nails fan, but it’s not all that strange, considering Pat Boone is buddies with Alice Cooper. I proudly own a copy of “No More Mister Nice Guy”, Pat’s heavy metal cover album. His version of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” is swinging.

Under the Weather, Over the Public Radio

Well, I've been under the weather this week. I don't want to go into the details of my symptoms since they were rather gross. Suffice it to say my stomach hurt.

Even when I'm sick, I hate not having anything to do. Although I could hardly lift my head from the pillow, I tuned the radio to Minnesota Public Radio, 91.1 KNOW, so I could learn about the Holocaust and Donald Rumsfeld's strategy in Iraq. (Holocaust remembrance day took place this week. As for Donald's strategy, it's a daily topic on MPR.)

I kept sliding in and out of consciousness, dreaming about the MPR news. In one of my dreams Tony Blair was following me through Burnsville mall, politely asking for some of my Hob Nobs. (They're an odd oat-filled cookie/biscuit from Britain that I really like. Oat cookies are my favorite cookie.) I was just trying to get to Old Navy to buy another pair of flip-flops and I didn't have any Hob Nobs to share.

Sometime during the afternoon, I staggered out to the kitchen, used the Hot Pot to make some instant tomato soup, and listened to an educational speech about the emergency response to Hurricane Katrina. I was lucky that it wasn't pledge drive week. Being in a suggestible state, weakened by illness, I probably would have pledged the balance of my credit card for a Prairie Home Companion coffee mug.

After two straight days of nourishing myself with MPR broadcasts and soup packets, I finally felt strong enough to return to work. My first day back was actually very productive. Although the stomach was still a bit off, I didn't let it distract me from a busy round of meetings, email and documentation.

After all of that MPR listening, I was ready for something a little different. On the way home from work, I tuned in Gina B on Power 96 out of Faribault, for the "Hard Rock Drive Home". I can just barely pick it up at the park and ride, and as I get closer to my abode, the signal gradually gains strength, until I'm really rocking by the time I pull into the driveway. I know I'm home when I'm hard-rocking to a band famous for their spandex and hair farming technique. Despite my dedication to MPR, Power 96 is a special benefit of living in Farmington that the rest of the world (save Faribault, Northfield, and Owatonna) misses out on. Farmington forever!

Dust in the Wind

Now, don't hang on,
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky,
It slips away,
And all your money won't another minute buy,
Dust in the wind,
All we are is dust in the wind . . .
- Kansas

Sometimes when I'm out of the range of Power 96, Faribault's best (and only) classic rock station, I get a little craving for Power 96's mashed potato comfort rock. I know a lot of people who like to have a piece of chocolate when feelings of angst overwhelm them. Myself, I feel like listening to a little cornball Kansas. I burned a CD that I can take with me when I'm going to be far from home. I find the song Dust in the Wind particularly comforting.
You don't have to worry so much about a program failing to compile when you are reminded that we're all going to eventually become dust. It really doesn't matter that you're getting a Java null pointer exception, because you realize someday we're all going to be taking a dirt nap, including the Java compiler. That's one of the first things you learn in life. As Robert Fulghum wrote in "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", "Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we."
So I only have a limited amount of time left - so many seconds that are numbered. It really makes that failing program seem less important. Will I care about it next year? Should I spend time on a Saturday fixing it when I could be taking Grandma out shopping?
This is why a little Kansas is all I need to settle down and relax. It puts my priorities back in order. A little reminder that nothing lasts forever, nothing good, and nothing bad.

A Hard Rock Drive Home (Part 2)

I was listening to a commercial break during the Hard Rock Drive Home on Power 96 the other night. I'd mentioned in my previous post that Power 96 never seems to have many ads, and when they do, they're usually for a spaghetti dinner at the Faribault VFW. I'm halfway listening to the specials on toilet paper and navel oranges at the Faribault HyVee grocery, and then the announcer's voice boomed, "Do you want to join Southern Minnesota's greatest broadcasting team?" I turned up the volume and listened intently. Maybe this was my chance to apply for the job of a lifetime - rocking out as a DJ in Faribault!

Imagine driving away from the Cities every morning, opposite traffic, laughing at the other cars trying to get to work. It's a straight shot from Farmington to Faribault down Highway 3, through some of the greenest rolling farmland in Minnesota. I held my breath. Then the announcer crushed my hopes. "Cumulus Broadcasting is looking for advertising sales staff." I laughed out loud to myself. One thing Power 96 definitely needs is to sell a few more ads.

Tonight they ran an ad asking listeners to send in Public Service Announcements. Then they played a double-shot of Guns'N'Roses. At least if I can't be a devoted Power 96 employee, I can still rock out as a devoted listener. Hats off to the staff at Power 96! Even when you guys say Ozzy is coming up next, and you play Judas Priest (like you did tonight at about 6:15 PM), you still rock.

The Hard Rock Drive Home

I was programming the FM radio presets on the Echo's stereo a few weeks ago, and I discovered a huge untapped quarry of rock. I tuned into Power Rock 95.9, the hardest rocking station in the Faribault, Northfield and Farmington area. (So sorry, all of you Minneapolis dwellers, this a Southern Minnesota thing only. You can't horn in on this station. You're stuck with the politically-correct Cities 97.)



Every night Power 96 plays the Hard Rock Drive Home, featuring Guns'N'Roses and Metallica. The show also features many washed up hair bands such as Great White, the Scorpions and Poison.* I slide into the driver's seat of my little Echo and crank up the music at the Park-and-Ride, a pleasant coda to the end of my work day.



The best part is Power 96 hardly has any advertisers - mostly the breaks feature ads for the Rice County Solid Waste disposal site and spaghetti dinners at the Faribault VFW. There are no cell phone ads featuring nasal-voiced adults arguing over minutes. It puts a smile on my face every time I hear about the $3.99 Chinese Buffet at the HyVee grocery store. Who would want to eat at a Chinese buffet in the grocery store? Only Faribault residents, I'm guessing. In Farmington we have our own Chinese restaurant, which serves all-you-can-eat crab legs.



At noon Power 96 plays a show called "Whole Lotta Lunch", comically named after the Led Zepplin tune, "Whole Lotta Love." I suppose down in Faribault everyone goes over to the $3.99 Chinese buffet for a whole lotta' lunch. When I told my pal Sarah, a native Northfieldian about my discovery of Power 96 and their unusual ads, she wisely responded, "We have our own culture down here."



If you live in the Southern metro, I highly recommend you tune into KQCL 95.9 for a hard rock drive home (not to be confused with just a hard drive home, which is what we had during that blizzard Friday night.) Rock on!

* (I saw Poison, Skid Row and Vince Neil of Motley Crue at the Target Center for FREE in August 2003. That kicked rear, even though my pal Sebastian Bach is no longer with Skid Row. He's currently hosting a lot of shows about washed up bands on VH1, the "used-to-rock" cable network.)

Location of KQCL, Power Rock 96:

(Provided for people that never leave Uptown)