A LEGO Arms Dealer

For anyone dying to arm their LEGO figures with a AK-47 or a grenade launcher, your wish can be fulfilled. I read about a company in Wired that molds "LEGO-compatible" plastic weapons which would never pass inspection at the Danish toymaker's family-friendly Billund plant. For only a few bucks, BrickArms will supply you with sniper rifles, machine guns and plenty of rounds of ammo to keep your LEGO guys busy in mock battle for days. This sounds more like something I expected to read about in the Onion than in Wired. Will Chapman, the owner of BrickArms, says in the article, “I bring in more revenue on a slow BrickArms day than I ever did working as a software engineer." For all of you software engineers out there frustrated with the memory leak in Eclipse that forces you to reboot twice a day, here's a way out of the trenches.

Build-Your-Own Race Car

Although I love my Smart car, sometimes when I'm climbing an uphill freeway entrance ramp that's only a block long and my tiny 3-cylinder engine is growling, I secretly wish for a street legal race car. Now there's a car company built on the open-source software model which can help make that happen. Local Motors of Massachusetts sells the experience of building your own race car in their Phoenix facility. The cost is only about $50000, or around 3-4 Smart cars. The race car design is developed by an online community of volunteer engineers. The parts come from a partnership with Penske Automotive Group. By strange coincidence, Penske was instrumental in bringing the Smart to the US. Maybe the Rally Fighter (pictured to the left) will be my next car. A girl can dream, can't she?

What's Up with Windows 7?

I've been using Windows 7 for several months through the beta and release candidate stages. I found ease of use is about the same as Vista/XP Tablet. The security features are less intrusive. Startup is a bit faster, shutdown is markedly faster and operating system speed overall seems faster. Stability has been good so far. Only in the earliest beta release did the system hang a couple of times. The integrated features for tablet PCs are excellent. Since I use a tablet laptop this was my main reason for upgrading from XP Tablet version. The upgrade from the release candidate to the full release was around $50 since I participated in testing.

If you have not upgraded/installed an OS on your own before, here are my recommendations:

• Make sure your computer meets the hardware recommendations for Windows 7 from Microsoft.
  
• Back up all of your files (Preferably twice on different media, such as inexpensive external hard drives, writable DVDs, flash drives, whatever method you prefer.)
  
• Do your upgrade on Saturday morning or some other downtime when you know you will not need your computer immediately in case you have problems and need to call tech support for help.
  
• Arrange access to a secondary computer if you use yours daily, again in case you need to call tech support. (Can you use a friend or relative's computer, or the public library's? Or one at your school?)
  
• Budget a few hours to spend babysitting the computer as Windows 7 installs and then downloading drivers, re-doing your settings, installing applications, etc.
  
• If you are a real geek, chuck Windows altogether and install Antix. Antix is a lightweight graphical version of Linux which takes only a tiny bit of hard drive space and runs well on old computers. I like it even better than Windows 7.
  

Halloween Bash in Farmington!

You're invited to a huge Halloween bash!

When: Saturday, October 31, 7:00 PM - Whenever
Where: Mary and Joey's House (Email mlebens@yahoo.com for directions)

Be there or miss out on the costume contest*, bonfire, scary movie marathon and great chow, plus the infamous Farmington martini!

*Costumes not required, but you can't win if you don't wear one. Dressing up in a Linux t-shirt and claiming you're an information technology professional does not count as a costume for the purposes of this contest.

Unlocking the Secret of Keywords

About once a month I check out the Google Analytics reports for my blog. My favorite report is the list of keywords which led people to the blog. Recently the keywords "Vince Neil pantyhose" led a new reader to the blog. I know exactly what the person was searching for - the 1992 "You're Invited (But Your Friend Can't Come)" video in which Vince walks out on stage clad in an oversize blouse, pantyhose, and a headband. After strutting out in this fashion mistake, Vince won't allow Pauly Shore into the concert because Pauly's not cool enough for him! Usually I embed referenced videos, but the vision of Vince in pantyhose is so off-putting I didn't want to force readers to see it. If you have a strong stomach, the video is available on YouTube.

Other interesting keywords which have recently brought people to the blog:

• Iguana tail amputations
• Farmington Steakhouse
• Is Initech Real?
• Ozzy Osbourne track pants
• Old style console television
• Slipknot's lead signer's new mask

People are definitely searching for information on heavy metal fashion, from pantyhose to track pants to masks, and I'm glad to provide it for them.

Information Privacy

I struggle with the issue of information privacy. One of my pals finally goaded me into joining Facebook. I think I have it locked entirely down so only friends can see my profile, but there are so many settings I am not entirely sure. It is still a bit creepy for me as I feel it inherently provides some false sense of privacy that may lead to over-sharing of information.

I view the blog is something entirely different. I have no expectation of privacy. Here I have 100% control over what I write and zero percent control over who sees it, just like my newspaper column. And strangely, there is rarely ever been a negative comment. One person objected anonymously to a post where I wrote about liking the KQ92 morning show four years ago. Another person objected to a post where I said I loved my '93 Ford Festiva the summer before last. That's OK, a lot of people find the KQ morning show and Festivas objectionable.

I fastidiously avoid posting about religion, politics, work or anything racy. One thing I worried about when starting the blog was whether some stalker would find it or some weirdo would start sending me creepy emails. Neither has occurred in the past five years, so I suppose that was an unfounded fear. Perhaps my fears of Facebook (or SpaceFace as my hubby likes to call it) are completely unfounded as well. What are your thoughts? How private is your Internet information?

On Channel 10 Tonight: Windows 2000

The news this past week was filled with stories about the switchover from analog to digital TV signal. When the switchover was first announced, I posited it was a conspiracy by flat screen manufacturers to force consumers to give up their beloved console television sets. Since then I've gotten extra basic cable (local channels, plus C-SPAN, WGN and in case you are really having trouble sleeping, C-SPAN II.) Tonight at I clapped on* the console for the first time since the switchover. I flipped through the channels looking for The Simpsons. I'm guessing the digital switchover wasn't painless for the Farmington/Rosemount area branch of the cable company. Channel 10 is currently broadcasting the Windows 2000 Professional screen saver with an audio soundtrack of contemporary Christian rock. The soundtrack seems out of place to me. After spending a few years saddled with a work laptop running Windows 2000, I'm certain quite a few people have taken Christ's name in vain while using that OS. There's nothing heavenly about Windows 2000.

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* I use a Clapper to turn the TV on and off since it lacks a remote.

Freshman Again

I just found out a couple of days ago I was accepted to St. Mary's for fall. I'm so excited I wanted to drive the Smart car over to the bookstore this weekend to buy a new St. Mary's sweatshirt, but they're closed for the Memorial Day holiday. I guess I'll have to order one online from the bookstore website.
I have no classes until after Labor Day. This is like that summer off between your senior year of high school and freshman year of college where you can goof off, knowing you're set for fall. (Or what I imagine it must be like, because I spent my senior year of high school in college, courtesy of Minnesota's Post-Secondary Option Enrollment Program). I still have that cloud like feeling that it might not quite be real. St. Mary's MBA program was my top choice. I have to cancel my other applications. Once I do that and I'm wearing my new sweatshirt, maybe it'll begin to feel real. I was darn lucky to get this break and I hope to make the most of it.

A Hero in my Own Mind

I discovered a solution to my inability to learn song lyrics without the CD liner notes. Santa brought me a Wii for Christmas. I am using the little microphone to sing along with the songs in Guitar Hero (well, I only pick the heavy metal songs, so it's more like growl and scream along with the songs.) I got 94% on the Chimaira song the first time I tried it. First time! I admire a band who derives their name from a multi-headed monster in Homer's Iliad. Who knew those classics courses I took as an English major would bring depth to my appreciation of metal? I picture my current project at work as a Chimaira of sorts. As soon as we lop off the roaring lion head, the fire-breathing dragon head rears up, ready to torch us. But I digress.
Not only does the Guitar Hero vocal option help me learn the lyrics to songs, it also impresses them into my memory in such a way I can recall them at will. If only I could have come up with some song lyrics about telecommunications last semester for my telecomm class. I struggled to memorize the terminology, POTS, CLECs, SIP, it went on and on. Maybe I could form my own telecomm metal band, where we just growl about pulse code modulation and session initiation protocol.

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If you have Guitar Hero at home, you can download the Chimaira song "Walking on Broken Glass" for free. I'm thinking about seeing them on the "Decimation of the Nation" tour this summer, maybe in Des Moines or Sioux Falls. They're both great towns.

Admissions Anxiety

I'm looking forward to a gentle summer free of exams and papers. On Thursday I completed my graduate certificate in Systems Analysis and Design at Metro State. I actually graduated Thursday night, only certificate program students don't walk across the stage or wear a cap and gown. You just get a notation of completion on your transcript. Still, it's exciting, and I'm light-headed not just with exhaustion and relief, but a bit of exhilaration as well.
I'm applying for an MBA program in the fall. At my first choice school I've jumped over all but one of the hurdles in the applications process. The only thing left is the admissions interview with the program director. I've never had an admissions interview before, so I'm a little anxious. Luckily it's a good kind of anxiety, one charged with excitement instead of weighted by dread. Hopefully next fall I'll have a new school logo sticker in the back window of my Smart car. My fingers are crossed.

Lyrical Loss

The strange thing about listening to MP3s is I no longer read lyrics. There are no liner notes in the virtual world. If you know the kind of music I favor, there's quite a bit of screaming and growling involved, and sometimes the singer even uses his cookie-monster voice. Unless I read the lyrics, I have no clue what's being said. Sometimes I even make up my own lyrics. For Bullet for My Valentine's "Scream, Aim, Fire" I like to substitute, "Driving to the office/In my tiny hatchback so slow/Spilled my coffee again/Lack of caffeine really does blow/Arrrrrrrghhh! Scream, aim, fire!"
I miss sitting cross-legged on the floor listening to CDs, with a jumble of liner notes, notebooks and journals strewn around me. Yet I'm richer than I could have ever imagined. I used to include $15 per month in my budget for a new CD. Now I can download music from CNET or Amazon, hundreds of songs, years' worth of my CD budget for free. For everything there is a trade-off.

Human Resources

One parlance which is popular in business today is to refer to people as "resources". Instead of saying "We need another employee on to work on that," you will hear someone say, "We need another resource on that." Maybe this is because Microsoft Project uses the term resource. To me, a resource is an inanimate object. It seems a bit dehumanizing to go from being a human to a resource. I suppose at least I'm a renewable resource, as long as you give me enough Diet Mountain Dew and bean burritos and allow me to sleep on a cot in the corner of the office.
Perhaps the term resource is only a bell-weather for a deeper sense of the dehumanizing process of work. Right now all of us are either frantically looking for a job or darn scared of losing the one we have. If we're lucky, we're trading 100 hours or more of our life for a paycheck every two weeks. If we're not, we're sleepless with worries about mortgage payments and grocery bills.
Once Terri Traen said to Mike Gelfand on the KQ morning show that he was depressed because he was smart, and smart people think about things too much. Terri's observation was keen. If you are smart, talented, enthusiastic about life, then there is a natural desire to trade your time for something worthwhile. Bright people want to trade their 50 hours a week for something in addition to just cash. They want to be out there helping others, making improvements and taking care of what needs to be done. Bright people who are kept from this can dwell on it and think about it too darn much.
Maybe the best we can do is focus on the time outside of work, the remaining hours, the time when we get to be people instead of resources. I like being a student, a wife, a pet owner and a writer a heck of a lot more than I like being a resource. Just keep those bean burritos coming and I'll keep renewing myself.

Cell Phone CTIA Wrap-up

The rest of the CTIA cell phone convention in Vegas was not very exciting from a technological point of view. I managed to get a coupon for a free SkinIt skin for my Palm Centro, so I can decorate it with a cool flaming skull graphic.
The most exciting and frightening part of the conference followed my breakfast blog post on the first day. I guzzled a cup of coffee at the cafe in the hotel lobby, and got up to work out. I realized I left my headphones in the room, so I ambled over to the newstand lobby to see if they had anything to read while I worked out. I didn't see anything I liked, so I hopped on the elevator to go up to the room for the headphones. Some disheveled guy and a couple of convention goers got onto the elevator. The disheveled guy started rambling about free drinks. Everyone ignored him. Then he said something about watching me look at the books. The conventioneers got off and I was stuck on the elevator with the creep. I got off at my floor and he followed me, asking if I was going to my room and if I was staying alone. I purposely walked quickly down a different hallway wing, where two maids were working, instead of going to my room. The guy followed at a shambling pace, and yelled, "I'm so anxious. God, I'm so anxious. I need to take a shower."
I ran into the stairwell, ran around to the door for my hall and opened it. He was sitting on a bench in the middle of the lobby floor. I ran down to the concierge desk and called security.
The security person gave me a special extension to dial on my cell phone in case I spotted creepy guy again and security went up to my floor to go find him. I hid in the workout room, busy with other guests, and stayed there the rest of the morning. I was too nervous to go back to the room to get my swimsuit for the ladies' only spa hot tub, so I just wore my underwear and a towel. Of course, I made weird squishy sounds when I finally did walk back to my room, and I dripped quite a bit on the plush hotel carpet, but the relaxing hot water was worth it.
I was afraid to spend time in my room for the remainder of the conference, and unlike my hubby, I did not have a press pass to get in, so I spent the rest of my time wandering the malls, Ceaser's Forum Shops and Miracle Mile. The strange thing is I can shop all day without buying anything unless I get near a Goodwill or a dollar store. All the time at the mall, I kept looking at cool shirts with skulls or gutairs and ripped jeans. But I couldn't stop thinking, maybe I could find that at Goodwill or Plato's Closet, my favorite consignment shop. No matter how much I like a pair of jeans, I just can't buy them unless they are less than $15.
The single brush with technology I experienced during the entire CTIA was a stop at the Sony Life store in the Forum Shops to browse for Sony Ericsson Walkman phones. They didn't have any. Not a single phone! There were some pretty cool Walkman MP3 players and a tiny VAIO Lifestyle mini-netbook that caught my eye, but I was disappointed. I still ended up spending an hour there trying out Sony products in their fake living room environment and talking to the sales people about how cool my Walkman phone is. (Yes, I own a Palm and a Walkman phone. I wasn't able to get email service for the Walkman, so I switched to the Palm. It's not bad, but it's not particularly cool compared to a Walkman. The Walkman has a pedometer!)
So that's the CTIA wrap-up. I'm sorry it was a bit late, due to my reluctance to chat about my stalker and the complete lack of new technology I experienced. But better late than never.

AntiX Mean and Lean

The new version of the Debian Linux OS AntiX-M8 'Intifada!' is released! Since I lost the power cord to my tiny convertible laptop, this week I'll be using my AntiX Linux PC exclusively. This is the coolest operating system ever. The OS slogan is "Mean and Lean", which completely describes the stripped-down flat black GUI and utilitarian feel of the applications bundled with the OS, such as IceWeasel browser and AbiWord editor. I completely recommend the AntiX free OS. It will run on any Pentium II with 128MB of RAM. It brought life back to my old laptop previously known as the "garbage laptop". Now it's the Antix PC! Useful, powerful and ready to help me study for my telecommunications mid-term this weekend. I'll let you know how the upgrade goes. I'm looking forward to the new version of IceWeasel and the new Bejeweled game bundled with the Antix upgrade.

I Brake for Coffee

The coffee break is a quintessential part of the cube farm environment in which most IT workers slave away. For many programmers, Mountain Dew has replaced the traditional break room machine-dispensed coffee. Since I try to limit my high-fructose corn syrup intake, I am still trying to choke down the peasant coffee from the break room. (Hey, it's free, right? I've saved enough by not attending the Caribou ritual each morning that I've been able to buy a multi-band Walkman™ radio that picks up TV stations. Yup, while you're chugging away on that whipped-cream topped mocha at work I'm listening to Judge Judy.)
One of my brilliant co-workers came up with the idea of adding 1 packet of Hot Cocoa mix to 1 cup of coffee. He calls it the Poor Man's Mocha. It can save you a few dollars a day over a coffee shop mocha, adding up to around $720 a year. (Note: You must use the standard issue mug that holds 6-8 ounces of coffee. The bucket-like Kwikie Mart mug will not work.) I personally use the sugar-free cocoa mix (which is still sweet, but has only 50 calories.)
So, slam on your brakes on the way to Caribou, and make a u-turn for the office break room. It's time to try a Poor Man's Mocha.

The Flat-Panel Console TV

I finally found the solution to my love of console television sets and my husband's love of flat-panel televisions. Wilkerson Furniture offers a flat-panel TV encased in a wonderful, console-like shell. Can you imagine anything cooler?

The IT Crowd

I'm not sure how many of you know about my obsession with the British and American versions of "The Office" TV program. I don't talk about it much in public, because I'm afraid I'll let a story about my actual office slip out. I take pains to not publicly embarrass my co-workers or anger my supervisor. Suffice it to say, I've endured in real life many of the scenes depicted in The Office.
My hubby stumbled on a new British show by accident on the web called the "The IT Crowd." After one episode, I was hooked and spent an entire Saturday watching the first two seasons. When I spotted the Commodore PET computer on a shelf in the background, I fell in love with the show. The characters are spot on. I see bits of myself and other IT people in The IT Crowd. Plus, their accents are so much easier to understand than the Slough characters on the British version of The Office. Do people from Slough really speak that way? I need some input from a few UK readers here. I have to turn on the subtitles, and I'm an English major.

You can check out The IT Crowd for free, streaming from the Thames 4 website
here.

After you watch the show, maybe you can guess which character most resembles my lovely hubby in the photo below. After a few episodes, you'll learn why my hubby is singing the giant string of numbers in photo caption.

The Cell Phone Junkie goes on Vacation

First off, I need to thank Mickey Papillon, the cell phone junkie, for reading my 3G Mafia post during a recent episode of The Cell Phone Junkie podcast. My husband Joey is a co-host on the podcast and he's a Palm Pilot junkie. He's got the Palm Centro now, which morphs the Palm Pilot and a mobile phone into one tiny device.
Last week while on vacation in Washing D.C. we visited the National Zoo. After peeking in on the pandas, I took a break in the restroom. Strangely, all of the stall doors feature posters with stories about animals using the restroom. After reading about how hippos spread their poo to fertilize the earth, I headed out to the visitor center lobby to find Joey.
He was engrossed in providing cell phone tech support to another zoo visitor. During the few minutes I was in the restroom reading about hippos, he located another Palm Centro user who was having trouble disabling the Centro's data connection. Even on vacation, a true cell phone junkie like Joey stays focused on his mission. This is the same kind of dedication that Joey and Mickey bring to the podcast. If you own a mobile phone or are ever thinking about buying one, I recommend checking out the latest news and in-depth perspective The Cell Phone Junkie podcast provides.

Rapping on a 3G Mobile Phone

Tonight I was listening to Shade 45 on the way to class, Eminem's station on satellite radio. The bass was bumping. One of the nifty features of the satellite radio is it shows the name of the artist currently playing. As I waited in the queue to enter the freeway, the name "Three G Mafia" scrolled onto the screen in tiny, angular letters. My husband, co-host of The Cell Phone Junkie podcast, is really big on 3G mobile phones. Believe me, I know all about why phones using this technology are superior. I even own one, the stodgy HTC Mogul. (You know how I define a phone as stodgy? There's a picture of a white-haired guy playing golf on the packaging.)
3G is an incredible new technology that brings broadband multimedia to mobile phones. Is a team of rappers so dedicated to this particular cell phone technology they named their group after it? I pictured these husky-voiced guys wandering around a hip, strobing club, rapping while searching for cell phone signal. One guy, with a Blackberry and a Treo holstered on his belt, and an HTC Diamond in hand boasts, "Yo, bro, I've got 3G here. You're still on the 1X!"*
It was quite a picture. But a short search on the web revealed this just wasn't reality. The angular font on the radio screen made me mistake the "Three 6 Mafia" for the "Three G Mafia". Which is really an honest mistake. There's a lot of things relating to the letter G on Shade 45, like music from G-Unit and lyrics about G things. You know how episodes of Sesame Street are sometimes brought to you by a letter? If Shade 45 were an episode of Sesame Street, it would be brought to you by the letter G. Of course, it would also be the most highly protested episode ever, as the content contains a lot of language too grown-up for the Sesame Street audience.

*For you non-cell phone junkies, 1X is an older technology with less bandwidth and slower data transfer rates. Basically, it's slow.

The Real Initech

I remember the first time I saw Office Space like it was yesterday. It was Friday night at the $2 theater. The place was packed with middle school students and the well-worn seats exuded the aroma of gym socks. My buddies and I piled into the second row.
I'm sure you probably have seen the movie, if not, then you're a lucky person who doesn't work in a cubicle. When this movie debuted in theaters I'd been a full-time cubicle dweller at a medium size company for a couple of years. My building had a disturbing metal modern art sculpture on the front lawn, much like the one in front of the fictitious Initech corporate headquarters in the movie.
The theater was silent during the movie. The audience was overwhelmingly too young to be legally chained to a cubicle every day. I don't think they got the movie's humor. Or perhaps they were just sobered by this glimpse into their possible career futures.
In contrast, I was laughing do hard I choked on a Junior Mint. None of my friends found Office Space the least bit funny. They were still in college, far removed from the monotonous life of the IT professional. My pals kept nudging me to shut up. Fourteen year-olds were turning around in their seats and craning their necks to stare, but I couldn't hold it in.
Pretty soon I was snorting and huffing as I tried to keep it down. I had to lean forward to catch my breath during the infamous printer beat-down scene. I dream of one day taking a color inkjet out to a remote, densely wooded area, and damaging it in unspeakable ways. After the show, one of my friends said she was worried I was hyperventilating during the printer scene.
Tonight, during a web search for Office Space related products, I stumbled across the real Initech, a Wisconsin-based IT consulting firm. For years now, IT professionals have been quietly joking they work at the Initech company from Office Space. Now we might get the chance to actually work for Initech, LLC. Their motto is, "get IT together, get IT right, and get IT done." How often do you want to just shout at your IT guy- "Just get it done"? Apparently Initech understands your frustration and is prepared to provide you with IT professionals who "concentrate first on hearing your concerns". Perhaps concerns about the missing covers on your TPS reports or a printer that flashes "PC Load Letter" and refuses to print. You can have anything for a price, apparently even an IT guy who listens to you.