Waste Not, Want Not

For the past week the van versus Smart car debate has weighed heavily on my mind. Of course, my dependable Echo is right by my side, so there is no urgency to purchase an alternative. Yet my mind worries with the idea, toying while I'm busy doing other things, kind of like my sister's hamster picking at a tightly sealed sunflower seed.
Last night as I was running the gauntlet on I-494, dodging semi-trucks, I came to a realization. This decision really isn't about the van or the Smart car. This is about two conflicting sets of values - each equally honorable and each equally embraced by yours truly.
Tonight I read "Living a Life That Matters" by Harold Kushner. This book has been on my list to read for at least a year and a half, and a copy popped up ready for me on my library reservation list on Monday. Rabbi Kushner mentions a quote from one of his seminary professors, "You will find yourselves able to do something you feel is right and good only by sacrificing an equally good and right goal."*
I find myself at a junction where I can do something right and good, keeping myself safe from invading semi-trucks by employing the best safety equipment and the largest feasible vehicle, or I can do something equally right and good, by saving gas and money piloting a smaller vehicle. One of my values is to practice good stewardship of resources, yet another is to take care of my physical body. To drive the Smart car would save around $250 a month over the van larger payment and increased gas costs.** Not only could I apply more money to savings, I could also reduce the amount of fossil fuels I consume with the Smart car compared to the van.
But the van may protect me a bit more if an SUV crosses into my lane. Back when I first bought my big old rusty Caravan from my neighbor for $350, I wasn't considering safety. I just bought it because I couldn't fit all of my camping gear into the Festiva and buckle in my dog and a friend at the same time. Plus, who can turn down a nice neighbor? But the very first time I drove the Caravan home from work, I saw a Lincoln Navigator start to meander into my lane, then swerve back. I'm pretty sure the driver spotted my rusty box barreling down the left lane, and decided to use a signal and wait to merge properly. That never happpened with my Festiva. Instead, when a Navigator or a dreaded monstrous Escalade wanted to merge, they'd just start coming towards me, and I'd end up on the shoulder.
So I am at a cross-roads. What will win out - my dedication to self-preservation or my dedication to stewardship of given resources? Both are equally right and good.




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* Kunshner, Harold S. (2001). Living a Life That Matters. Published by Alfred A. Knopf, New York. p. 60.
** (Sadly, the top safety pick Sedona drinks over twice as much gas per mile as my little Echo or the Smart. Its paltry 17 miles per gallon is not too much better than my giant V8 conversion van which I drive sparingly.)