Thursday, May 1, 2008

Who is the Number 1 Hair Metal Band?

According to Rob O'Connor, the "list-of-the-day" music blogger at Yahoo, singer Ozzy Osbourne and whoever is playing with him comprise the 9th best hair metal band of all time. Although I appreciate Rob taking the time to compose a metal list-of-the-day, I disagree with Ozzy's position on the list. Ozzy is not a hair metal guy. Black Sabbath's sludgy, grinding sound may have spawned metal as we know it. Black Sabbath may be the root of all metal, but only a distant forefather of the fluffy hair metal genre.
Rob, have you been to Ozzfest recently? Hatebreed, As I Lay Dying and Unearth are some of my favorite bands featured during the past couple of Ozzfests. They have more in common with death metal than hair metal. Believe me, I was in the pit. It was so sweaty that no amount of hairspray could have kept a big hair-do aloft.
Although Ozzy does not belong on a hair metal listing, I wholeheartedly endorse Rob's choice of Guns'N'Roses as the number one hair metal band of all time. I thoroughly enjoy Guns'N'Roses. They are like junk food for my ears. Not good for me, devoid of any nutrients, but so delicious I can't resist. I love G'N'R so much that I listened to nothing else in my first Del Sol for about a year and a half. Occasionally I spent a week straight listening to Appetite for Destruction, their first ground-breaking release. At the time 93X, the local Twin Cities rock station, was running a special '80's rock weekend promotion. One of my co-workers, who frequently joined me in the Del Sol for lunch runs, joked that "Inside Mary's car, it's always an '80's rock weekend." To enhance the '80's rock experience, I only listened to cassettes. The Del Sol belonged to an older person before me who ordered it with a tape player. I scouted garage sales to replenish my stock of cassette tapes, and it was completely worth it. Hair metal sounds a bit better on an analog medium. The nasal, higher pitched warbles in Axl's voice are muted on cassette.





I discovered this wonderful photo of Axl Rose wearing the Union Jack and looking extremely hairy. Enjoy!

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