The Big B

I have lots of pets. I don't mind the poop and the vomit too much. Cats, iguanas, dogs, even sea monkeys can't gross me out. The only hard part is when a pet gets sick. Then there is extra vomit and scary fears. The only part harder is when a pet dies. Everybody dies, just like everybody poops. But I'd rather deal with poop than death any day.
Last week one of my pets passed away. My cat, Beaner, aka the Big B, passed away. She wasn't feeling good, so I brought her to the animal hospital. She was dehydrated. She felt much better after they gave her intravenous liquids. Then an ultrasound showed a tumor on her spleen. She underwent a splenectomy, which removes the spleen and the tumor, letting the cat live normally. Unfortunately the mast cell tumor had metastasized to the liver. The mast cells released a large amount of histamine during her surgical recovery and she went into anaphylactic shock. The vet tried to revive her, but couldn't.
I know someday all my pets will die. Everything dies, even your goldfish and your plants on the desk in your cubicle. If not, then time would be limitless and meaningless. I just didn't know it would feel so bad when the cat died. I have that same feeling you have when a person passes away - tightness in the chest, stomach aching, teary for no reason in particular. I couldn't even tell anyone about the kitty. I know I'll crack up and start sobbing in big, heaving breaths, and that makes other people uncomfortable. It even makes my dog uncomfortable.
Beaner lived with me a long time. It's been almost 12 years since I found her hanging around the back door of my mobile home. She was straight out of the trailer park, aggressively affectionate, insatiably hungry and always stealing bread and chips. She always came running when I called her name. She greeted me at the door when I got home from work. She'll be missed. A few years ago I wrote about how I have four important somebodies depending on me. I'm sad that now it's only three. Beaner, you were the best cat ever. End of story.